Once I wrote the last post titled Past Gifts, I took what I wrote to heart. I loaded up a shoebox of the gifts that were given by people who are no longer in my life. Once I packed up those items, I pulled my memory box off the shelf and sorted through it. I got rid of half the content and worked on the DIY project I shared in the first post. I don’t love the results but these items are no longer in a box for no one to see.
The feeling I felt as I was packing up the box and throwing out old cards surprised me. It was a freeing experience, and I felt lighter. I mean its kind of crazy if you think about it. When you date someone and it ends, we all know that holding onto the items that belong to that relationship isn’t healthy. If we truly want to say goodbye and move on we need to get rid of the pictures, gifts, token, and whatever else someone may hold on to from a past relationship. A person may struggle with getting rid of these items.
I had a hard time getting rid of pictures from my junior high boyfriend. I don’t think I got rid of the pictures until years later. A big part of that is because the pictures got put in a box and I forgot about them. Things between him and I were short, but I held onto those pictures and the memories like they were a part of my being. I say all that to say no matter what kind of dating relationship you have that does not end in marriage; we need to get rid of those things. If we know that we should get rid of those items, then why don’t we do this with other relationships?
In the memory box, I had a handful of pictures from junior and senior high school. I don’t talk to anyone in those pictures. I do not know where half of those people are in my life. If I wanted to know I could just get on social media and see if I can find them. In one of the photo albums I had was pictures from a Girl Scout trip that had pictures of a handful of girls I hung out with during this time. There was five of us who stayed in a single cabin with two adults. My bed was by itself in a corner while the other four girls pushed their beds together. I remember how I tried to hide the hurt of being “left” out. When I looked at those pictures, I don’t think about the trip. All those feeling of being “left” outcome flooding back. I decided it was time to say goodbye to those pictures because why do I want to hold on to them? They aren’t good memories and once again I don’t talk to any of those girls.
I hesitate to share this because I honestly cannot remember where I heard this but I feel it goes along with the point of the blog. If I can find it, I will add it at the bottom of the post later. The person talked about not hanging a picture of a relative in your home you do not talk to or get along with. If there is someone in your family who causes you stress even if it’s your own mother then don’t put their picture up. I read that and my first thought was isn’t that harsh? Then I thought about it and it makes sense. It’s not that the person isn’t apart of your life but they don’t have to a daily reminder. There may be people in your family you need to take a step and cut them out of your life. There may be family members who walked out on you and you hold on to things that belong to them. This could be another topic for another post. I will leave this section saying we need reevaluate all relationships and really take into consideration if we should hold on to pictures and/or gifts even if it’s from a family member.
I could go back downstairs and look at the shelf that still holds a good amount of items and I could get rid of more. I held onto the ones that still hold dear to my heart. I have a few items from a friend who I am no longer close to and I rarely talk too. The relationship didn’t end badly we grew apart. I will not get rid of the three things she gave me from her missions trips. I could spend the last bit of this post justifying why I kept what I did. It doesn’t matter because it’s my choice. I took a step to get rid of stuff I did not realize was weighing me down. One more step of freeing myself from the past and decluttering my home.