The battle within

I finally did it! 

I cleaned out the dressers and the end tables. I took pictures of these items and posted them on the Marketplace. It didn’t take long to receive a few messages. I believe I have a lady who is moving and she will get all three pieces. I was excited at first but then as I sit at the computer I can feel a battle rising inside me.

My thoughts ran wildly:
How could you be selling these items? 
You worked so hard to get them! 
This is a huge mistake.
Having a complete set tells other people you have everything together. 
You’re choosing to look like a poor college student?

Almost a month ago I cleared out our dresser and try to use a four square cubby I had used for the boys’ toys in the living room. Check out the previous post titled “Goodbye Dresser”. I wanted to test this out to see if we could manage living this way and if so I would pull the trigger and get rid of the dresser. I see getting drawers put in the closet so all our items are in one location. There would be no need for a dresser.

It hasn’t been a whole month yet but I can tell that this new layout will work and I need not wait the whole month. Actually, the big push is my mother is coming this weekend, and she offered to help me put the boys’ room into the larger of the two rooms. We are doing this because we have a third child on the way and I don’t know if we will move as we hope in the fall. I also babysit during the week and I have two pack-n-plays up for fours day and you can barely walk in the boys’ room. Side note: my husband suggested we put our room in the smaller room instead of the boys. I didn’t want to because we have a door in the bedroom to the bathroom. This excited me and I didn’t want to give that up. This was the first time we ever lived in a place that had the bathroom connected to the bedroom. Now I wish I would have listened because it will take to take down the furniture and move all the big pieces.

I shouldn’t be to surprise that I would have a battle going on inside my head. I am making some drastic changes and trying to rewire a lot of my old ways of thinking. I have had years of forming the mindset I have. I have only been embracing this minimalist mindset for a few months and it can get overwhelming. I have to remind myself: no one is making me do this; I am choosing to live differently; I am not happy staying the same, if a time comes and I feel I need to have a complete set again I can buy one, and once these items leave, I will be fine. 

When change comes about either by choice or not, it will not be easy. It will sting and it may even make you cry. Change can be a wonderful thing but even if it’s your own choice, it can be hard. Therefore, we need other people around us to help us make the changes we want to see. Personally I know I will see the selling of the dresser and end tables to the end. I do not need someone to help me stickwith this plan but I took a moment to share with my best friend the battle I felt rising. 

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