All By Myself

Cue song:

All by myself
Don’t wanna be
All by myself

Have you ever heard a child yell and tell you “No, I want to do it all by myself.” It’s a great moment in their lives when they can achieve a task on their own. Then at some point we get to a place where we don’t enjoy doing anything by ourselves. I never really understood the need to travel in packs to the bathroom but sometimes I enjoy having company going to the store. 

In this stage of my life I enjoy going to church by myself. Let me be clear I would like to go with my husband but that isn’t possible. I know most people hate it and recently I posted about how I haven’t been going to church on a group page. I got, so many invites from people saying I could sit with them at their church. I appreciate it but I decline for a few reasons. I am taking a break from the denomination I have been a part of for the last 18 years. I will spare you the reasons behind the change but most people I know attend these churches so I’m stepping out to a new place. A big reason I enjoy visiting a church alone is because if you show up to a place and one person knows you then no one takes the time to talk to you. I visited a church and ran into someone I knew and that was it. I was so and so friend even though I only knew them through someone else and haven’t seen them in years. 

I enjoy going to a church to see what they have in place and see how they are with visitors. Two Sunday’s ago I went to a church and the young adult pastor stopped me and helped me find my way around. I didn’t seek them out, but he knew I was new and took me to the kids’ area. Then this past Sunday I visited a church without the kids and I got in and out. No one stopped to talk to me or direct me. Now when I’m looking for a church to visit I typically look for a larger church. I attempted to go to a church a few weeks ago and realized it was a smaller church and went to check out another location. I have played around with the idea of attending a variety of churches and write about it. Have you ever heard the term “church shopping”? I have mix feeling about the concept of church shopping but after years of getting involved with churches without doing a lot of research, it’s time to begin a real search. 

I’m not against the leading and attending a church but until then I will continue to go to churches by myself. It’s difficult with the boys but they do well with being dropped off with people. P3 loves playing with friends and Z likes to flirt with girls. I also get an hour and half break from being their sole provider. I know the whole purpose of going to church is not to just attend but to get involved and build relationships. In due time but for now I will continue to check out churches and continue to go by myself. 

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