Mean Mommy

Mommy guilt is something I feel that a woman puts on themselves. A lot of times it’s about things are out of their control. I decided to not allow myself to feel mommy guilt over things, because there is nothing I can do about it. I mean there are some things I could control but I do them for the best of my child.

IMG_5762

The picture above is my first son. The left picture is him when we first got to the doctor office and the second one was after he got a shot. This was the first time he has gotten a shot since being in the hospital. I was still recovering from having him so my hormones was a mess but I did not allow myself to feel guilt. He lives in a place where he has access to medicine to prevent diseases that are still taking lives of other children in other places. This was when I realized he had no reason to be sad about the world because he has been protective from any kind of pain.

Fast Forward to almost 3 years later and he is overall a good boy. He is turning 3 soon, but he had his moments as a 2-year-old. Then a few weeks ago the terrible 3’s started to show its evil head. Everything is a BATTLE, and he has to go against everything I say. I ask him “Do you want oatmeal or cereal?” and he will respond with “sandwich”. I’m sure that wasn’t an option. The one day I put all his favorite foods on a plate and he freaked out. WORSE MOMMY EVER!!!! Ok I could give a lot more typical toddler examples of the craziness I’m facing, but I won’t.

6675A6B3-EF69-49D1-BEEC-2B43C2D974A5.jpg

Now I know I’m not a horrible mom but I feel I have to become a mean mommy. There are so many parenting theories out there that are supposed to help you navigate raising a child. The thing is one theory may work on one child and it won’t phase another child. I am finding myself falling into the zone of saying one thing too many times and not just doing it. My child is stubborn I know this because he has my DNA flowing in his vein; plus the more I learn about my husband as a child I learn he was stubborn. P3 is smart for his age and we often forget that he is only 2 because of the way he talks. I know I have to start being more firm with him because he is pushing the boundaries. He is an independent child which is what we have been working towards.

2422A4CA-8061-4420-8F1C-5CA0D8AD247A.jpg

The thing is, he is just going to get worse if I don’t put my foot down with him. I know I’m not a mean mom but I know I will feel like it from time to time. There will be days when he has to be removed from the situation because he isn’t making safe choices. I know I have to get through to him when he is doing things to annoy other kids. I know when I tell him I will do something I have to STOP and follow through. I also know I have to be strict with the tablet. I always see his attitude get worse when he spends too much time on that device. I also have to continue to not care what people think when we’re at the store and he is screaming at the top of his lungs. I know people are judging me and him but it’s none of their business. I am not hurting myself child I just put him in the cart because he chose to not listen while walking. Do I like how quickly he flies off the handle? No!!! I sometime wonder what I am doing wrong he reacts this way so quickly.

Throughout the years we have heard “Spare the rod, spoil the child.” Now before anyone jumps on me I know there is a big debate on spanking and I do not plan to address this topic. I think the concept is still relevant. If we allow a child to get EVERYTHING they want, then they become spoiled brats. If we go to the store and they throw a fit and we give them something to calm them down, we are “sparing the rod”. Once again I am not saying you should spank your child but not giving the child what they are demanding will help them learn. I have had a woman come up to me and tell me to be strong. She said I was a good mom because I wasn’t running out of the store or giving in to his demands. She was right I wasn’t planning on leaving or giving in. He didn’t get what he wanted that day and I wish I could say he has learned. He hasn’t because he still has his moments but one day it will stick.

I am not becoming a mean mommy but I have to become a mom that stands her ground. He needs me to teach him the different from right and wrong. He needs to learn how to handle his emotions. I know he understands because there has been many times when I tell him to take a deep breath in the middle of his screaming and he just stops and does it. Then sometimes it just makes it worse and I just want to put him in his own room and let him have his moment. (He is reacting like this now as I finish typing this post).

Do you struggle with mommy guilt? How did you handle surviving the terrible 3’s?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s