Do NOT let anyone tell you to not get your child services. If you are a loving and caring mother who spends times with their child (ren). Then you know them the best and you know when something maybe off or is not right. We are our child (ren) biggest advocate. I have seen too many parents ignore an issue because they were too afraid to have their child labeled at such a young age. Then there is a feeling of failure as if they did something wrong. A mother may feel the way she took care of herself during the pregnancy may be the cause to the concern. If a mother willing takes drugs, drink alcohol, and does not take care of themselves then I would agree that their action has played a major role. I believe a good amount of women do not do these things and whatever they may face has nothing to do with them.
I wrote this section months ago: Every child is different and I have to learn this with having my two boys. Z is soon to be 11 months old, and he rarely eats. He sits up on his own but does not take the precaution of preventing himself from falling over. He does not mind being on his belly and he is army crawling. He rarely puts toys in his mouth and he does not help pull himself up. He does not support himself on his legs. P at this age was eating like a pro. He was fully on table food and has put himself on a sippy cup at 9 months old. He did not crawl but butt scooted and use his right foot to move himself around by dragging his left leg as he moved. He could hold himself up when using furniture to support him. We had such an issue with P being on his belly we thought for sure Z would be the one who would speed ahead in the movement department. He has never minded being on his belly and he is a pro at rolling over.
I had P tested at 9 months old because I thought he may have been behind in his gross motor. He was low on the bell curve but did not get into the black. They decided to not provide services, but we also learned that he was high is the cognitive and social. It wasn’t until they restricted him from moving from the infant room to the one-year-old room when I contacted Early Intervention again. They came out to reevaluate, and he scored low again in the gross motor but he was at a point that they could turn him down. I expressed to them that my concern was that he would fall behind in other areas because he was not with kids his own age. They approved his services, and they allowed him to move up. He was 18 months old when he finally started walking. If I remember correctly, they reevaluate every six month but we did not get to the six-month mark before having a supervisor come out and approve him to be terminated from the program.
When I was pushing to have P evaluated I was getting so much slack from family members. It was amazing how against they were of him getting PT. One member shared they feared that the service would “find” something wrong with him. That to me was a legit concern because some places may try to diagnose a child with a problem when they have nothing wrong. That is why as a parent I need to educate myself and know what to look for in my child development. Even to this day people will make off comments about me being SO worried about P. I was not worried I just wanted to make sure he got what he needed and in getting him services I was given skills that will help me with our other children down the road (if needed).
When I told a family member, I was getting Z evaluated because of his lack of eating and not using his arms when sitting I got the push back once again. Really!?! I mean come on people do you think I create issues in my children so I can get these services? They told me not to worry because he wasn’t one yet so there was nothing worried about. Once again I was not worried but the fact that this child has not slept through the night and won’t eat food. Plus, when he gags on water down baby oatmeal there is an issue. He scored low on the gross motor but what pushed him to get services was his eating. THANK YOU!!! Someone is finally listening to me and can see what I see. My husband even asked me if I thought something was wrong with Z and he wasn’t on board with P getting evaluated.
Fast Forward: Z has been getting services for a few months now. What we discovered with him is he needs to be shown how to do certain things and it does not take him long to get it. His OT showed me how to help him get up from the side position that he started to do. July 3rd he finally sat up all by himself and now he is a pro. He still army crawls but I find him extending his arms more now but he still isn’t interested in crawling with his arms extended. Our next steps with his gross motor is getting him to play on his knees. He still doesn’t really use his legs, especially when I’m holding him. When his OT first started, she encouraged me to feed him with a spoon and to push down on his tongue. What she discovered was that his tongue was going against him. He didn’t understand how to use it. Every time he gets food in his mouth he would push it out with his tongue but not on purpose. I told her I often thought something was off about his tongue which could be why he didn’t latch for the first month of life. (That right there is an example of how a mother knows but in my case it was just a “feeling”.)
The baby food still wasn’t working, and I finally cut it out all together. He did not want it because he wanted to eat like everyone else. We would watch him stare at us and lick his lips. He wanted to eat our food, use our spoons, and take away whatever he could. Once he finally mastered the fine motor skill, he is now eating like crazy. Now he still is choking and I have to make sure everything is super small. Tonight he ate four grilled chicken nuggets, strawberries, blueberries, and oranges for dinner. Now that he can pick it up and most of the time gets it in his mouth he eats too fast. He has come a long way, but he still has a lot more growing to do. He is now putting stuff in his mouth more and the other day he finally let go of items inside an item. He did not understand letting go of items. I am glad I did not listen to those who were against him getting services. I wish those who are close to us would stop judging me and trust I know what is best for these boys.
As a mother or the primary caregiver. DO NOT let other people’s opinion (especially family) affect a choice that may benefit your child(ren). What I love is that most of those who make comments only spent a few hours with the boys on occasions. They do not see what I see on a regular basic. Our oldest has had a pooping issue for his whole life and I refused to give him certain things. A few weeks ago I cut out milk from his diet. I do not know why but ever since I did he has been pooping and I don’t know until I smell it. Typically, he yells at us and fights it, but there has been no signs of a struggle. When I shared this information in front of family members I immediately got a push back. My husband even joked about it later. I share that store to once again remind any caregiver do what you think is best. Early Intervention can be so beneficial and what’s even better is that you don’t have to share the information. Do what is best for your child(ren) and keep moving forward.