Party + Self Discovery = Growth

On Saturday I learned a few things about myself. I have come a long way with my compulsion; especially in having everything just right for a party. I also learned that I still have some growing to do. We threw my 3-yr-old and 1-yr-old a birthday party. Unfortunately, it was a 100+ degrees. We had it at a local park which I never “really” wanted to have it at this location. One reason is because it makes it hard to decorate and another reason is because you never know what the weather will be like hence the boiling weather. I really don’t know my limit and being 35 weeks pregnant makes throwing a party even harder. I am thankful for my mother, step dad, husband, and mother-in-law for all they did. I know for a fact that this party would of not happened without them. I will post a post with some pictures on a Wednesday post. 

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If I am honest, I would like to be totally done with parties but I allow myself to feel bad because I have thrown many parties for other people’s kids that I cannot justified not throwing them for my own children. My BF pointed out that I didn’t have kids when I did those other parties. It was a simple eye opener statement. Duh!!! I could spend hours (more like waste hours) making decorations and plan the perfect party. I was so anal because I had to do EVERYTHING. It was hard for me to be “ok” with the mom of the one kid making their birthday cake. I was stupid about it but it is all I had at the time and truthfully I didn’t realize how much of my life I was giving away to pointless stuff. I loved doing it. I found joy at the moment and I still find pride in the results of the parties. I have posted pictures in other post throughout my blog. 

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I wish I still had the drive I did for my own kids. I decided I will never have an outside party again or do one in another location. A big portion of the time spent is getting things loaded, unloaded, set up, thrown out, torn down, reloaded, to be unloaded and FINALLY put away. I am blessed because as I type this I’m sitting at the pool by myself. I wish I had one person here but I will take advantage of this time of not having to do anything. I am fighting the urge to sleep but I know I need to get into the pool it will take a lot of the pressure off my body. I pulled in and my mother told me to relax. I don’t normally do that but honestly after attempting to sit on the floor to have my 3-yr-old help my 1-yr-old open his gifts I knew I overdid it. Getting up was SOOOOO HARD. I brought a book to read but got caught up in typing. 

I spent a good amount of money and planned certain things but most of it didn’t work out and because of the heat I didn’t care. Then again we only had two “kids” show up. I think that was the hardest part for me. My oldest 1st b/day he had 75 ppl and my second child had 12. This is also telling on where we are in our life. The two additional families are my husband’s friends. I have made none additional ones since we moved here and all the kids I invited were out of town. Oh well, I have a feeling because of the heat they would have cancelled, because the other family that were supposed to come didn’t show up because of the heat. 

I think now that I’m trying to become a minimalist that I need to start doing parities differently. Then again, I know things would have been different if I was the only person planning the party and we wouldn’t of had as much stuff. I like to be organized, and I wasn’t for this party. I get overwhelmed with a lot of stuff and that is what we had. Now I will give credit there was a few things that came in handy but most of it was just extra stuff. I am the type of person who just wants what I use. What I mean is if I choose a decoration I like on Pinterest that is all I will get. I won’t pick up extra stuff just because it “may” work. I appreciate the hard work and dedication that does to help me plan this party. I just don’t want to see or deal with ALL THE STUFF! I dislike combined birthday parties but I have to be realistic in having parties for the boys. We do not live near any of the grandparents so they have to travel to come to the party. I would love to have a party in June, July, and possibly August so each boys can have their own parties. I will not do that to them so I will have combined parties but I will have a different themed for them. I know that sounds crazy, but it is what I have decided to do for the boys.

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Photo by Nick Duell on Pexels.com

This year Z’s party was a lion theme and P3’s party was a transportation theme. I know doing it this way will not cut down on the number stuff we will need but I hope some day the boys will appreciate all I have done for them. I know that it may not sound like but I have grown a lot and the fact that I did not set up the tables the way I envision and that I did layout the food just the way I saw on Pinterest is me growing. I know the next time I host a party I have to do things differently. It’s going to be challenging to have a birthday party for all three boys, then again it really depends on when X decides to make his debut.  

selective focus photography of die cast model toy cars
Photo by Artem Beliaikin on Pexels.com

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